Giddy...

Off the beaten path post running in my head all weekend. Here we go!!

Remember these?? Not a lot of them left really (them being an insurance issue and all...). My kids live for the one at camp every year, and if it weren't for that one, I'm not sure they would know what this is (and by the way that one is SO small!!). Having just run a web search, finding a merry go round that even barely resembled the one I rode on as a kid..... what fun!! It was huge!!  And you could ride in or out! And that wood was virtually indestructible. You could jump on and off and it barely shook - and the metal  could really take a beating - none of this molded plastic stuff - no siree - we got SPLINTERS!!  But I am now officially off topic on my off topic...

Remember being a kid and approaching the merry go round..... the risks? The attraction? The spinning until you can't even walk straight and OK, maybe every once in a while feeling really, really sick? And waiting until the ground was just firm enough to walk you right on back over there and jump on again? And yes - getting back on even after you have been spun off or maybe even dragged along? Just have to get your wind back into you and back on you go!! Um why? Why in the world did we do that to ourselves (notice I just made that all of us, not just me...  : P )? 

Have to say the last few days have been much like that ride on the merry go round. I recently answered a friend who asked how I was doing with these words:

"I am spinning. It is a giddy kind of spinning at this point, but spinning none the less!  You know - like when a kid is on a merry go round too long? Really excited and giddy, but possibly vomiting at the same time??  : ) Good stuff."

I'm not even sure what  mean. I can point to certain things that occurred over the weekend that sent the world spinning - for good and bad. We had a wonderful time with a dear family that not only watched our kids, but "put us up" - AGAIN last minute on Friday night. I became aware of something over the weekend that broke my heart. I was able to spend time with a wonderful group of ladies Sat. morning that grow me in ways I never anticipate. Sunday was our church service - another oasis in this busy life. Sunday night we were finally able to get another precious family all to ourselves that we had been trying to connect with for awhile. The weekend definitely had it's hiccups, but o-so-many blessings as well. That can send me spinning and giddy right there.

 But I  have to be honest. I don't think that is it. There's also something going on in my heart. There is an anticipation stirring there that I haven't felt in a very long time. Just this feeling that something is just over the horizon. Something that is going to change us, change our life that is just starting to fall back into a routine. And I have no idea what it is. Just spinning and giddy and jumping on the merry go round ready to spin again. And, being the control freak that I am (there, I said it...), there is also that slightly sick feeling as I anticipate that routine that feels like it is finally settling in won't be a comforting rut much longer. It feels like the current is picking up, and it's time to cling - because we all know when the current picks up it's both a scary and exhilarating ride! I wish I had more detail. Then again, maybe I don't. Because I know His power is made perfect in weakness - and the clinging - that's just where He wants me.