I realize I haven't posted in 2 months. We have had a crazy summer. Mike is finishing up his finals this week, and we have both been counting down the days this semester. It has been an unusually tough time for us time wise.
Last week we had the opportunity to go to Worship God '09 (the SGM Worship conference). Mike had been able to attend last year ('08), and really wanted me to come along with him. I can't express how grateful I am that he pushed me to go. It was an amazing time, and God used so many things over the course of the 4 days we were there to re-center my focus on Him. It was time well spent, and we are tremendously grateful to have been able to go (and grateful to my parents for watching the kids!!).
Mike is really looking forward to finishing his semester. One more semester, and he is done. I have no idea what the next few months will hold as we move forward, and that can be a bit unnerving. I think we are both feeling that. These past few months have been a mixture of fear, hope, confusion, peace, and a wonderful exercise in faith. I am feeling as if the next few months will bring about a whole new level of exercise. I know that He will be faithful to complete the work He has started in us - I am really praying for peace in the transition.
The kids have been great. I truly do not deserve to be blessed with the gift of my kids! They continue to grow and encourage me in so many ways!! We are getting ready to shift back into school mode. They are eager (especially the younger 2), and are looking forward to starting back up again. I need to bathe that in prayer - I am not there yet. I keep putting our start date off. It is time to get organized and going....
My heart has been heavy as of late. God is faithful. I know He is. It just feels like a free fall right now. I feel like we have been given such a great gift in this time. I am not sure if we have used it effectively. God has been bountiful in His provision to us. He has been gracious to our family. As I look back on all He has done over the last 8 months (WOW!!) that Mike has been home, I am nothing but grateful. I am starting to wonder what comes next now. I am not sure if that is helpful. And yet, as this season winds down in the next few months, I find myself asking my husband more and more often "What's going to happen to us? Are we going to be OK? We're going to be OK right?"
Even as I ask I know that I should know better. Mike is not my saviour. He loves me, and God uses him to provide for our family (in ways we could never have imagined). But he doesn't know, nor does he control the future. And I know who does. And I know He is faithful. And He has walked us through in ways I could never have anticipated. Please pray for a more profound focus. Please pray that I would not be "like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like." (James 1:23-24). But that I would be about doing the word - and that my trust would be planted firmly in God who NEVER changes.
